Hands up, who let’s their body hide away in trackies and jeans all winter, while the dead skin builds up to a crusty dry mess, that even the unshaven hair can’t break its way through?  Yeah?  OK, well, you know your legs aren’t like a plastic container you’ve left in the fridge too long, that now contains a liquified ‘mystery meal’? You can’t just throw them in the bin and get new ones, like Tupperware (OK, maybe not actual Tupperware, because that cost you two week’s rent, but you know what I mean).  You either need to fix that shit, or keep wearing pants.  

Those of you sticking with the pants, I wish you and your legs an uncomfortably sweaty summer.  For the rest of you who are ready to bare some skin, listen up.  There are a bazillionty fifty coffee scrubs on the market at the moment and I’m pretty sure they’re all ace, but I’ve only tried one of them so far and that’s enough to get me hooked on the new exfoliating craze.  Not only do they smell ridiculously yummy in your bathroom, but they get rid of every dry bit of old crusty winter skin in one invigorating and slightly messy shower.  It’s bloody great fun and you can’t stop feeling your skin afterwards.  Good times!

So I did a fake tan the other week, as I was sick of pants and wanted to get around in some shorts for a change.  My skin was so pale and transparent, that I feared I may develop rickets from the lack of vitamin D, or the journey of my blood throughout the vascular system in my body, would be visible to my small children and freak them the f*ck out.  Excited that I was about to bronze my way to artificial health, I took one look at my legs and went “Nuh, no way snake lady, ain’t gonna happen”.  I realised that much of my whiteness was coming from the flaky scales of dead skin that I was wearing like the ugliest pantyhose ever.  I either needed a belt sander or a miracle.

Every Australian girl knows and probably loves Sportsgirl.  It’s a goddam institution for us and our rite of passage into teenagehood and beyond.  When you first get one of those striped plastic shopping bags in your pre-teen mitts, you know you’ve made it.  I’ve worked for them twice, and even though I’m out of their target demographic now, I still shop there all the time.  The clothes might be getting a little young for me, and all the sunglasses are too big for my head, but they have an ever growing line of makeup and beauty products now, that are actually pretty awesome, and all cruelty free.

When I worked there ten years ago, I became obsessed with the Body Glow, not only for the quick and easy bronzing, but for its tropical summer’s night fragrance.  It’s all coconuts and soft island blooms, and it made me so happy when I smelled the same beautiful scent mixed in with the intense, rich coffee aroma in the Coffee Body Scrub.  Memories of crazy nights out and long summer days of doing whatever I wanted, started flooding back to me when I first opened the sachet.  Mix that with the warming and awakening smell of fresh coffee beans, which is now associated with the desperate need of an exhausted mother, still, you’ve got a pretty magical scent.  The scrubby bit is equally amazing.

It’s a bit of messy fun in the shower and though you’ll be tempted to be quite heavy handed, a little product actually goes a pretty long way.  The directions say that you should get it on and then leave it for ten minutes.  Ain’t nobody got time for dat.  I just rubbed it into my skin until I got bored, then rinsed it off.  This still managed to achieve the desired effect, as I was left with silky soft skin that I couldn’t stop touching.  I was so smooth and perfectly prepped for my Bondi Sands tan, which then went on like a dream.  At only 15 bucks a packet, this little beauty from Sportsgirl should be in everyone’s bathroom.

Judging (and I mean judging) from my Instagram feed, many photographic people are also using these scrubs on their faces.  “Shit No!” I say to that, as it is way too abrasive.  Maybe they’re OK with it, maybe they just wanted to get a cool pic to share, but my little mug is far too sensitive for that level of crazy scrubbage, so fortunately I’ve found something just as effective for my face, but super dooper gentle.  Indeed Labs is a solutions focused skin care brand, dedicated to fixing your major skin concerns with just a handful of results driven products that can easily fit into your current routine.  The Facial Powdered Exfoliator is one of the first products I bought from the range and I absolutely love it.

My skin was feeling very sensitive and angry at the time, but I knew it needed exfoliation.  I had freaked it out with a glycolic acid product which was way too strong and I just needed to tone it down a bit.  All I wanted, was to remove the flaky bits and dead stuff, so that my soothing serums could work their magic on my poor bumpy skin.  I wanted something with fruit enzymes as well as a little bit of gentle abrasion.  The key ingredients of this exfoliator are incredible and were everything I was looking for to smooth out my shitty skin, and my lordy, did they ever.

Major love at first scrub.  Actually, I wouldn’t say scrub, as that implies something a bit too rough and abrasive.  The Indeed Labs exfoliator just ever so delicately polishes even the most sensitive and fragile skin with the teeny tiniest little bits of bamboo extract and rice bran powder.  You activate the product by adding water to it, causing it to create a foam, but it’s not at all like a foaming cleanser (which you know I hate).  On my most sensitive of days, I just gently wipe the foam over my skin allowing the enzymes to do the exfoliating, then softly wipe it off with a face washer.  Most days however, the miniscule particles are kind enough for me to work the product over my face, neck and chest, to achieve beautifully smooth and soft skin, that feels comfortable and refreshed.  I use the exfoliator about 3 times a week, when I feel my skin could do with a polish, or before a special event where I’ll be wearing makeup.  I also like the extra cleansing benefit it provides after a day of sweating in suncreen at the beach or riding around on my cool orange bike.

I wholeheartedly recommend both of these products for pretty much anyone who has skin.  So unless you’re a robot, I suggest you go ahead and try them next time you’re up for a bit of scrubby love.  Peace.

Kind Beauty Points : Sportsgirl products are cruelty free.  The brand also supports The Butterfly Foundation an initiative dedicated to promoting positive body image and assisting those with eating disorders.  Indeed Labs products are cruelty free.  You can buy Indeed Labs from Priceline through Shopnate, and help out your favourite charity.

LISTEN : BON IVER  Scrubby Skinny Love