I started writing this post about my pretty orange nail polish and as I waffled on and on with uninspired blah, my words suddenly began to take on some substance as I discovered a stupid habit I have.  I apologise unnecessarily for not being perfect – and I do it quite a bit. 

Up until last week, I didn’t have any polish on my toes for about two months, and I felt like a Hobbit.  During that time I had a few nights out, caught up with some friends, and thoroughly enjoyed all the social opportunities that the festive season brings.  All with naked toe nails and an uneasy feeling of shame at my incomplete grooming.  The bigger issue for me, as I discovered, was not having bare toes, it’s that I found myself making unprompted apologies and excuses for not being perfectly groomed, and realising that I do it more often than I care to admit.  Please feel free to yell “Get over yourself, you First World princess idiot!”, because that is totally fair and accurate.

This epiphany just highlighted the fact that I can be a complete hypocrite and ignore my own advice.  I’m a loud yelling advocate for positive self worth and confidence, a champion of the ‘f*ck what anybody else thinks!’ mantra, and a huge believer in the ‘take me as I am, or you’re not worth my time’ philosophy.  Yet, my shoulders tensed up anxiously as I sunk back into them, making excuses for being ‘unfinished’ and ‘unpolished’.  As I looked down in envy at my girlfriends’ perfectly pedicured feet and back up at their perfectly manicured hands, then back down again at my Hobbitty little pegs and witchy fingers, I felt like I had failed as a woman.  Especially a woman who writes about friggin’ beauty.  I couldn’t even use motherhood as an excuse, as my friends all have small children, and they work too.  They all just looked so pretty.

Lately, it hasn’t just been my toes that I’ve been ashamed of.  My local grocery store is a bit posh, and is usually filled with ‘ladies who lunch’ done up to the nines, who seem to be making a lovely day of it.  For me, it’s more like “I’ll just put my bra on under my jammies and pop over the road for some milk – nah, screw it, I’ll just lean over a bit so you can’t see my nips through my top.  Back soon”.  I’m usually either sporting a ‘not fit for out of the house activities’ ensemble, or I’m going in after a sweaty session at the gym to get my veges.  The Murphy’s Law of ‘never seeing anyone you know when you’re looking fabulous, but running into every person you’ve ever met while looking shithouse’ happens to me all the time at my grocer.

I mostly run into old clients from my Mecca days – the days when I was perfectly put together and polished.  They look at me with puzzled familiarity until I explain who the bare faced, nest haired, bag lady of a woman is standing before them.  “Kate? From Mecca?”.  The penny drops and out come my apologies.  “Please excuse my hair/face/skin/nails/clothes/no shoes/food in my teeth/odour, but I’ve just worked out/woken up/sat on my arse/been really busy/haven’t showered, and I’m just letting my skin breathe.”  What I should be doing is just shutting up so I can enjoy the interaction with another woman, who may or may not be judging me for my current state, and I shouldn’t care less either way.  I am who I am and I make the choice to leave my house a bit a la natural and messy, not because I don’t have the time, but because I don’t give a rats about what the general public thinks of me.  It’s the specific public that I have a problem with.

After coming to the realisation that this was a stupid thing that I do, I made a conscious effort to keep my trap shut when a good friend of mine came to visit one day.  On this particular day I had 3 day growth leg hair, major eye bags and the biggest zit I’ve had in quite some time, throbbing away on my chin.  I said nothing about any of it, and my lovely friend Ally, stayed to enjoy my company for a couple of quality hours.  She is still my friend too, regardless of the fact that I looked far from perfect, or even slightly presentable.  Because real friends and family don’t care whether you’ve painted your nails, brushed your hair or groomed your brows.  That shit gets old if you lack a personality, and friends will stop visiting.

Having said that, if you do lack a personality, can I suggest a fabulous nail polish in the most amazing neon red orange you’ve ever seen?  The one thing Ally did notice, and kindly commented on, was my freshly painted toe nails.  I finally got around to doing them and every inch of me wants to apologise for them not looking ‘toe nail model perfect’ in the photo, but you know ‘see above’ and let’s all shut up about it now because I’m trying really hard not to be a dick about it and change my stupid ways.  OK.  I will say this though, the colour is far more neon and slightly more orange in real life.  I’ve found that neons can get lost when I photograph them, so just imagine the shade being that little bit brighter.

This pretty colour is called makethemagic, and although I got it aaages ago and it’s limited edition, it is still available.  It’s part of the same range as my favourite purple nail polish, bethatgirl, which I reviewed last year and love unconditionally.  If you go back and read the post, just replace ‘purple’ with ‘orange’ and you’ll have my review for this one.  It’s nail polish, not rocket science after all, but I am starting to think that Australis has a pretty strong nail game and you can’t go wrong with their insanely affordable range.  Especially if, like me, you only get the chance to put it on every so often or you like to swap and change your colours all the time.  $20 is bit much to spend on a polish you’re only going to wear once, but 5 bucks is totally justifiable.

Back to my stupidity though, is it just me being an insecure loser, or do you guys do the same sort of thing?  I would love to hear a resounding “NO!” from you all, knowing that you’re all comfortable in your skin no matter how it may look to others.  I’m happy to be on my own with this one, but if you do share the same habit let me know and maybe we can slap each other out of it.

Kind Beauty Points : Australis is certified Cruelty Free and the nail colours are vegan friendly.  You can buy Australis from Priceline through Shopnate, and help out your favourite charity.

LISTEN : NIRVANA  All Apologies